Fearful Eyes
by thestorysofar05
Summary: Bella misses Edward...but will he come when she needs him the most? The Cullen's come to the rescue to save the only human they all truly love! *Sensitive subject*
1. Chapter 1

All she could see was flashes of flames. The vision was coming and going, coming and going. She didn't understand this vision…she could only see flickers. But they wouldn't stop…it was starting to give her a headache…and then she saw something else….An orange truck. She knew that truck….Bella. But she couldn't understand why she was only seeing flickers of the vision.

After what seemed to be a lifetime, it all came flooding into her mind….Laurent, Victoria..Charlie, Bella….oh Bella.

"Carlisle!" Alice shrieked. The sound scared all in the house and everyone came running, not just Carlisle.

Jasper, Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, and Rosalie were there before she even finished the vision.

"Carlisle, Its Bella! Something has happened! We need to go to Forks now and we need to get a hold of Edward…Its Victoria….She found Bella. It's not good, I can see Laurent holding Bella down by her throat and Victoria somewhere in the background and flames. It's very confusing, the vision keeps cutting out, I don't understand…. "Alice trailed off, obviously upset that she couldn't see more.

"Okay, me, Alice, and Emmett we will run! We can get there in less than 15 minutes," said Carlisle. "Esme, Rosalie, and Jasper…You can take the two vehicles and Rosalie look for the name Jason, that's Edwards number…call him. He gave it to me for emergencies." He ignored the shocked and disgusted expressions from his family as he threw his cell phone to Rosalie.

"You had his number the whole time…" Rosalie started.

"Not now." Carlisle stated firmly, trying to keep himself calm.

And they departed to do their duties to the daughter/sister they may never have the chance to see again.

IN FORKS:

He was pacing. He couldn't just stand here and let them hurt her more. But Sam was on his way and he would be stronger with Sam. He could smell them, the filthiness of the bloodsuckers. Why did they want with Bella? It had something to do with HIM. It had to, he knew it.

The flames inside the house began to grow, he heard shattering of the windows and screaming…She was screaming…in pain.

'Ok this is enough, I am going in' Jacob thought to himself, when his thoughts were interrupted by the heavy scent of disgust.

"Jacob, what is going on??" Alice screamed. 'Uggh, you are the reason I couldn't see the whole vision…you dog,' she thought to herself but this wasn't the time nor place.

Jacob turned around to see Dr. Cullen, Alice, and Emmett running towards him, so fast that he thought that they weren't going to stop and were going to collide right into him. They didn't, they gracefully stopped themselves roughly 2 feet away from him.

"I don't know…" said Jacob but his reply was cut off by a horrific shrieking noise that arose from the flames.

That was all it took, they were all inside before Jacob even had time to register what had happened.

The vision presented before the three Cullens was one they had wished they never had to see. Charlie's body lay lifeless underneath Victoria's hands, blood dripping from her mouth laughing, she was enjoying the show. And Laurent was on top of Bella's helpless little body, forcing himself inside of her.

Carlisle was the first to move towards Laurent, slamming his stone body against his. Laurent went flying into the air hitting the floor with a thud. Emmett caught Victoria by surprise as she tried to lunge to protect Laurent, but was cut off with Emmett's strong hands, slamming her against the wall.

Jacob and Same came in, in wolf form, trotting behind Edward. Sam and Jacob helped the others to get rid of Victoria and Laurent. Edward swiftly moved to Bella's side.

She was huddled in the corner, watching the terror before her eyes. She couldn't move, she couldn't breathe, she couldn't feel.

"Bella…," Edward said softly.

She slowly made eye contact with him and she moved her lips to say 'Edward' but no sound came out.

She was so frightened. Edward had never seen that look in Bella's eyes before. He could smell her blood, unaware of the burning in his throat, he could see all the bruises that had already started to form. Her shirt was torn to pieces and she wasn't wearing any pants, he looked around for a blanket, a cloth, anything to cover her up, for her sake. He reached out for her and she flinched.

"Bella it's Alice. Edward and I are going to get you out of here okay?" Alice said with a warm voice. Edward snapped his head to the side, he hadn't even noticed Alice was there until now and Jasper was by her side. He also noticed that Esme and Rosalie were going into the next room to help the others.

They needed to hurry, it wouldn't be long until someone would call the police if they haven't already. Bella looked at Edward and nodded. She wasn't aware of what she was agreeing to she just knew she didn't want to be in this house anymore. Edward grabbed the red fleece blanket off the couch and covered her as best as he could. He lifted her swiftly but gently into his arms. She winced in pain, let out a slow sigh, and then allowed darkness to engulf her.

Edward ran as fast as he could towards his house, with Alice and Jasper following behind.

Edward came to a screeching halt. He read Alice's mind and she wanted him to stop. He turned around to face her, looking at her as if giving her permission to speak.

"Victoria and Laurent are dead. The house is burning and they are burning with it. Wait just a minute and the others will be here." Alice said simply.

And only moments later, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie and Emmett came running up behind them.

"Carlisle, we need to get her to a hospital. She is still breathing but she's unconscious. I can smell the blood spilling from her. She's pretty beaten up." He winced as he spoke.

"Edward, we can't take her to the hospital. What are we going to say? A vampire killed her father and then beat and raped her?" his voice quivering as he spoke.. "We will take her to the house. I still have all my supplies there and if I need more, I can get it. We can take care of her up there, this is going to be extremely hard on her but I can medically treat her. Okay?" Carlisle asked.

Before Edward had the chance to answer and felt Bella start moving in her arms. "Edward? Am I dreaming? Oh no, stop this dream! You are too real this time! Bella, wake up! Wake up!" Bella screamed.

"Shh, Bella. It really is me. You are safe now, I'm not going anywhere." He could feel her heart start to race.

Jasper could sense Bella's emotions and Edward read his mind knowing we needed to get her to the house.

Edward turned and started to race towards the house.

Inside the house, Edward took Bella to a room that was set up like a hospital room.

"Can't…breathe….let me….go….oh god….can't' Bella said gasping for air. Edward laid her on the bed and stepped back. She tried, with her best effort to sit up. She collapsed back into the bed before she even got half way. Edward stepped towards her, offering a helping hand. "Please don't. Please." She managed to squeeze out between gasps.

Edward heard the door open. He already knew it was Carlisle. Bella looked up and saw Carlisle and looked away, ashamed. She didn't know what had happened and she didn't know what was happening. She wasn't sure if she was having a nightmare, but she knew she wanted to wake up.

Carlisle approached Bella slowly. "Bella, I know it's hard but try to slow your breathing. You are going to pass out if you keep breathing like that. Breathe with me, in….out….in….out."

She kept her focusing on what Carlisle was saying. She got her breathing under control. She tried to sit up, again failing. It took everything Edward had not to rush to her side and help her.

"Do you mind if I help you?" Carlisle asked. Bella nodded. Carlisle went to Bella's side and helped her sit up. He took notice to the bruising on her arms and her neck, trying not think about what caused them. For his sake and Edwards.

Why can she trust him and not me, thought Edward. If he had had a heart, it would have broken in half but he knew it wasn't her fault.

"Bella, do you remember what happened?" asked Carlisle.

Bella just stared at the wall, showing no emotion.

"Bella, I think I should check you out, you might have some serious injuries. I would take you to the hospital but I'm sure you understand the circumstances." Carlisle said in a slow, soothing voice.

"No. Please…" Bella layed back down and curled into a ball. Her stomach was burning and her body ached but she ignored it.

"If you change your mind, or you need anything you can hit this button and someone will be up here for you," Carlisle stated as he rose from the bed.

He left the room, leaving Edward with a very scared and helpless Bella.

"Edward…" Bella whispered softly. "Why did you come back? You should have let them kill me. It's better than you seeing me like this…." She was facing away from Edward but he could hear the fear and sadness in her voice.

"Bella, I came back because I love you. You needed me and I wasn't here…I'm sorry for that…this is all my fault…"He trailed off.

" You said you didn't love me anymore, you told me that!"

"Bella, it wasn't the truth…I thought I was doing what was best for you..it was horrible to be without you…I have never done anything harder in my life…" Edward explained.

"Now you're not ever going to want me again…" Bella said so softly that a human wouldn't have been able to hear her…but a vampire…yes..he could hear her. And he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

He approached her slowly, cautious not to frighten her. "Bella…can I come sit beside you?"

She nodded, tears starting to stream down her face.

He walked over and sat down next to her. "Bella, I always have and always will want you. You are the only reason I exist. No matter what life brings us…I love you."

She looked up at him "Really?"

"Of course Bella." He said. She sat up, when she struggled Edward asked "May I help you?"

She nodded and Edward helped her sit up, she came in closer and hugged him. He wrapped his cold arms around her when he noticed that she was starting to cry. He held there for a few minutes, letting her cry, holding her was the best feeling in the world.

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed something red on the sheets of the bed. Then he realized his throat was burning…blood.

"Bella, look at me." He said. "You're bleeding…"

"Omg, do you want to hurt me, is it too much for you? I'm sorry, I didn't realize.." She started to rambled as she squirmed to try to get away from him.

"No, no…I'm just worried…you are hurt and you could be injured, I think Carlisle should look at you…"

Bella jolted away from him, "No, No, No! I don't want anyone looking at me, I don't want anyone touching me…No! Edward, No!"

Bella struggled to get out of the bed, she managed to stand up and start walking to the wall screaming. She tried to keep the blanket wrapped around her waist. Edward was watching intently when he started to see Bella wobbling. He was there in an instant and caught her before he caught Bella.

She was unconscious in his arms and he knew what needed to be done. He hated that she was going to have to go through it he knew it was for her own good.

"Bella, I love you dear….and I'm sorry….."he said, "Carlisle I need you…" he said softly, knowing Carlisle could hear him.


	2. Chapter 2

Carlisle was in the door way in a second.

"My son, what happened?" he asked.

"She just went unconscious, she doesn't want checked out but I can smell the blood and she's not doing well…I don't want to upset her but she needs your help…" saying, obviously getting upset.

"Edward, right now she needs medical help. I know she doesn't want it but she's not in the right state of mind right now...we can sedate her and make sure everything is fine." He said simply. "I need your permission to help her. I know you two aren't legally married and none of this is technically 'legal'. But on a personal note I need your permission, it seems more appropriate for me to do it if I have it. You need to know that my medical decisions are only for her best interest…"

"Carlisle I wouldn't expect anything else from you." Edward interrupted.

"Edward, You are emotional and if Bella gets more upset you may worsen the situation if you get more upset too…" Carlisle stated.

"I understand. I give you my permission to do whatever you have to do. And yes I would prefer that Emmett and Jasper comes up to help if she starts to fight, sorry I read your mind. I couldn't do that to her, not after what she has already been though. I know a female would be better but I already know none them are willing…." He said as he looked down at his dear Bella.

"Lay her down. If she wakes up try to keep her calm. I'm going to go get my things ready. "Carlisle stated as he heard a knock on the door.

The door opened slowly and there stood Emmett and Jasper. "Sorry, we weren't trying to ease drop but it's hard as you know," Emmett stated apologetically, "Yes, we are willing to help, we know it is in Bella's best interest. The girls left. They would be able to hear all of it and can't bear. Alice is really upset, she is blaming herself. She thinks that she should have been able to see it sooner and been able to save her. Rosalie and Esme are trying to calm her down but they aren't having much luck."

Carlisle walked in the room and said "Okay I have my things ready, Edward maybe you should go hunting or something. Somewhere far enough that you can't hear what is going on."

"I am not going anywhere. I need to stay by her side, even if she hates me after this but I have to make sure she is okay." Edward said.

Bella started to stir and opened her eyes. "Edward?" Bella asked wearily.

"Love, I am right here. You are going to be fine." Edward said as he held her hand and looked deep into her eyes. "Shh…Everything is going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay…" He tried reassuring her and himself.

He nodded to Carlisle after reading his mind, letting him know it was okay to start.

He walked over to Bella and gently grabbed her arm and felt her pulse, it was beating extremely fast. "Bella, I am going to check you out. You are not doing well and right now you need medical help."

"Carlisle, No I am fine….please just leave me be…" Bella said calmly.

"Bella, I'm afraid you are not going to have a choice, you are not in the right state of mind and are not doing okay physically. You are my family and I'm not going to stand by and watch you die." Carlisle explained to her.

"NO! I do have a choice and I said no! I will be okay! Edward, please! I told you that I was okay! Everyone please just leave me alone, I'll be fine!" Bella screamed and she started to get out of bed.

Jasper sent a wave of calm to Bella and Emmett and Carlisle both apologized to Edward in their minds as they went towards Bella. Edward stepped back while Carlisle grabbed Bella's arm. Emmett pushed her back down on the bed by her shoulders, careful not to stand over top of her. After what she has been through, he didn't want to seem like he was trying to hurt her.

Bella screamed as tears started to stream down her face, "Edward please tell them to stop! I don't want this! Please! No! Stop!"

Carlisle placed a band around her right arm and stuck an IV her arm. He hung a bag a fluid from it and pushed a medication to sedate her.

Bella's screams became softer until her eye lids closed. All the while Edward was apologizing to her over and over, trying to reassure her everything was going to be okay.

Bella's body relaxed and Carlisle placed his hand on her forehead. Her skin burned his stone hand.

"I think she has a fever, Jasper can you go and grab a thermometer and some clean sheets and blankets," Carlisle asked.

Carlisle took her temperature it was 104.3 Farenheit. "I don't understand why she has such a high temperature. Let me finish the exam. "

Carlisle took the fleece blanket off of Bella and covered her up with clean sheets. Jasper and Emmett turned away out of respect.

Carlisle did his exam on Bella. He found that she had 3 broken ribs, 2 deep cuts on her thighs, a broken arm, a swollen eye, a split lip, multiple bruises all over her body, and some bumps on her head. The cuts on her thighs were extremely dip and she had lost a lot of blood. He ended up having to put 33 stitches in her. But nothing concerned him as much as the reddish rash that was beginning from her thighs and spreading. Her fever was rising and her blood pressure was dropping.

No one understood what was happening…….Was this situation worse than they thought it was?


	3. Chapter 3

Edwards head shot straight up as soon as he heard the screams, Bella's screams. He was over to her side in less than a second.

"Bella dear what's wrong?" Edward asked frantically.

"I...can't breathe….I …can't …breathe…" the words softly escaping her lips.

Everyone was still in the room while Carlisle was finishing up the stitches. Jasper tried to send Edward and Bella a calming wave, the pain and sorrow that was pouring from both Edward and Bella were starting to take its toll on him.

Edward looked at Carlisle for help, not knowing what to do. Carlisle finished stitching up Bella's arm and walked towards the head of the bed.

"Bella dear its okay, let me take a look." He said as he looked inside her mouth with a flashlight.

'_Her throat is closing shut, I don't know what's going on'_ he thought.

"What? Carlisle? Help her! Please!" Edward asked after reading Carlisle's mind.

"Bella listen to me. You are very sick, you can't breathe because you throat is swelling. We are going to need to put a tube down your throat to help you breathe…" He didn't get to finish before Bella started to plead.

"Please no! I am fine! See I can breathe…" she said as she took a deep breath and started to cough. Tears started to flow from her eyes and her coughs were interrupted by sobs.

"Bella, listen I am right here my love. You are very sick and I don't know what I would do if you weren't in my life…Everything that we do is to help you live. I love you and I cannot go on if you are not here to share my life with." Edward said.

"Edward…I am…fine…." Bella remarked and after a brief pause and a few seconds of coughing she went on to say "Maybe…I don't…want to live," diverting her eyes away from everyone.

"Bella don't you ever say that again! I love you. You…you…" Edward didn't know what to say.

"Edward we don't have much more time." Carlisle said as he pushed a white thick liquid through Bella's IV.

"I'm sorry…for…causing…so much…. troubllllee…" Bella said as she shut her eyes and quickly fell asleep.

"I am not sure what is going on but everything in her body is swelling. The rash is getting worse and her throat is closing rapidly. Edward, my son, she is very sick and we are going to do some things that are going to be very uncomfortable for her and you. At least she will be sedated, I'm worried about you." Carlisle said with his hand on his son's shoulder.

"I know everything you are going to do is for her own good, I just hope we can figure out what is going on," Edward responded sadly.

Carlisle had told Jasper to go get antibiotics and steroids and told him where he would find them. He told Emmet t to get the other supplies he needed. Without saying a word or making a sound, both were back in a flash with all of the appropriate supplies that he had asked for.

'I'm going to start and hopefully everything I will do will help' Carlisle thought to Edward. Edward nodded to him and then looked back at Bella lying on the bed, lifeless. If vampires could have cried he would be forming a river right now.

Carlisle started to put three little patches on Bella's chest ever so gently. He hooked her up to a heart monitor and the only sound in the room was the beeping of her heart. To Edward it was comforting; it was a constant reminder that she was still alive. He then placed a probe on her finger that measured the amount of oxygen in her blood. Edward noticed the concern on Carlisle's face as he put this on Bella. Edward looked up at the number, it read 84%. To Edward that number didn't mean much but he knew by the look on Carlisle's face that it wasn't good. Carlisle also started two more IV's. Edward closed his eyes, the thought of something piercing her skin, causing her pain, was too much for Edward to watch. Carlisle also hooked up a cuff to Bella's arm that would take her blood pressure every so many minutes.

"Edward, I have to put a tube down Bella's throat and I also need to stick a tube in her bladder. It is not going to be comfortable to watch, I am warning you. I am going to have to expose her also, like I said before, it is only for her own good." Carlisle spoke to Edward.

"Emmett can you come take a walk with me?" Edward asked. "Jasper can you stay here and help him. I don't think I want to be in here for this. Although Carlisle, I do want to come right back as soon as you are done. "

"Edward, another thing, I am going to have to keep her sedated until her health improves. I can't let her wake up until I know that she can breathe and the swelling has gone down." Carlisle said to Edward before turning back to getting his equipment around.

Edward nodded at Carlisle again and then bent down to kiss Bella on the lips, "I love you, my love, forever and for always. You need to get through this. This is my entire fault and I'm sorry. You need to get through this…"

Edward and Emmett walked outside and started to walk through the woods. Meanwhile Jasper and Carlisle were working to get Bella better.

"Carlisle, I don't want to sound lazy but don't you think Esme would be better at helping you. I really do not know much about all of this medical stuff. Just the simple stuff, I mean I have no problem helping you, I just don't know how much of a help I can be."

"Jasper it's okay. Esme is with Alice right now and that is where she needs to be. I can do most of the stuff I just need you to mostly hand me things because we have to stay sterile for some of the procedures." Carlisle assured him. Jasper nodded.

Carlisle started by hanging up fluids, antibiotics, and steroids and hooking them up to all of the different IV's. Jasper then understood why she needed all of the IV's. He then started to proceed to intubate Bella. "Jasper I am going to put this lighted intubation blade down her throat so I can see her vocal cords and when I tell you to I need you to hand me that tube, then when I say so I need you to hook that tube to the end of the tube in her mouth," He instructed Jasper.

Carlisle placed the intubation blade into Bella's mouth and lifted up. Intubating Bella wasn't hard, it was actually extremely easy for Carlisle. Once he spotted her vocal cords he nodded to Jasper who handed him the tube. He placed the tube through Bella's vocal cords and instructed Jasper to hook it up to the ventilator. Carlisle put in the settings for the ventilator and secured the tube to her mouth with tape.

"I have to stick a tube in her bladder and I need to check the rash and her injuries down there. I will put a sheet over her and you can hand me the supplies from the other side of the sheet. I know you would appreciate it if you didn't have to see, it's alright." Carlisle said to Jasper.

Carlisle and Jasper both washed their hands and placed sterile gloves on after covering her with a sheet and placing her legs up in stirrups. Carlisle sat on the chair and lifted the sheets. His eyes widened with horror and sadness filled his stone heart. The bruises on her legs had worsened by 20 times. The rash was now bleeding and producing welts all over her body. The swelling of her private area was worsening, turning purple in color. Carlisle quickly placed the tube into her bladder and then rubbed ointment over the welts and sores on her legs.

"One more thing we have to do and then we can get Edward to come back. We have to stick a tube down her nose so we can feed her, if we are going to keep her sedated we still have to give her nutrients. I am going to need your help, I need to keep her head in a straight position. " Carlisle said to Jasper.

Carlisle readied his supplies and started. He didn't get the tube more than a few inches into Bella's nose when her eyes flew open. "Grab her arms so she doesn't pull anything out, I will control her head. Bella, Bella….look at me dear. Shh its okay, listen I need you to hold still. I know its all very uncomfortable and I will give you something but I am in the middle of putting tube down your nose and I need to finish, look at me Bella." Carlisle said. Meanwhile Bella was starting to panic, the heart monitor became louder as her heart started to race. The ventilator was starting to beep because she was trying to breathe over it. Jasper was holding onto Bella's wrists and holding his body weight onto her legs. He didn't want to put too much pressure, for fear of causing her pain. But he knew if she would have free hands she would cause a lot more damage. "Bella, hold still I know it hurts okay, just try to relax…" Carlisle said before he was interrupted by Edward running through the door and at Bella's side in a second.

"Bella its Edward. Shhh love, it's okay. Carlilse what happened?" Edward demanded to know. He hoped he was hiding the terrified look on his face because walking in while Carlisle was putting a tube in Bella's nose while Jasper was practically lying on top of her and other numerous tubes sticking out of her, frightened Edward, which did not happen very often.

"The sedative must have worn off. I will give her more medication after I finish with this. Bella…I need you to swallow like you are taking a drink…." Carlisle said. Bella was too frightened to obey his request but he eventually got the tube down and secured it to her nose. He quickly ran to the medicine cabinet and drew up the meds he needed. Within 3 minutes of Bella waking up, she was finally back asleep.

"Edward I'm sorry. I didn't think her body would go through the medication to quickly. We are going to have to put her wrists in restraints. If she wakes up again, she is going to be scared again and try to take the tubes out of her and we are going to have to go through this all over again."

Edward just nodded to Carlisle as him and Jasper tied Bella's wrists to the bed.

"Bella I am so sorry for all of this," Edward said as he was stroking Bella's hair, "Please get through this, I love you."


	4. Chapter 4

Bella was unconscious for about another 4 days and Edward had not left her side. Alice had come to terms on what had happened. She secretly had not forgiven herself yet but only Edward knew that. He dare not say anything because he felt even guiltier. Esme and Alice came upstairs to talk to Edward.

"Edward, you need to go hunting. We are going to bathe her and get her cleaned up. Carlisle needs to draw some blood work and feed her. Your eyes are the blackest I have ever seen them, dear. Please just go, even for a little bit. I swear I will not leave her side. Take your cell phone and if anything happens I will make sure we call you. Carlisle isn't going to let her wake up with her fever still this high," Esme said as she laid a comforting hand on Edwards shoulder.

"I don't know Esme. I can't leave her…. It is my fault she is here in the first place. I should have to suffer…" Edward replied.

"Edward, nothing significant is going to happen. I can see that it won't. We are going to change Bella and bathe her I don't think she would want you to see her like this…" Alice said softly.

Edward just nodded and kissed Bella's forehead, "I love you, Bella dearest. I will be back, I promise," He looked up at Esme and Alice, "I will not be very long and please call me if anything changes."

Esme nodded and Edward left the room to go hunting. "She is so fragile looking," Esme said. Alice looked as if she was going to cry. "This isn't your fault. You are not the one to blame," Esme assured her.

"She is my best friend and we left her. Then I listened to Edward and didn't look for her. I just wish I could see her future. It's so blurry and confusing. It changes so often," Alice spoke.

"Alice, we are doing everything we can do for her now. Now let's get her out of these clothes and clean her up. Why don't you go pick out an outfit for her and get a basin of room temperature water. I don't want to add more to her temperature but I don't want to freeze her either."

Alice went to retrieve the items. She picked out dark purple button up pajama shirt and matching shorts. She grabbed the basin and a few towels and hurried back to her room. When she got back Esme had already undressed her and had her covered with a sheet. Without speaking they both went to work. Alice wanted to scream when she saw all the bruising and cuts but she kept her emotions under control. Esme washed her hair and then carefully brushed it out. After washing her they changed the sheets and gave her fresh blankets. As soon as they were done, Carlisle knocked on the door.

"We are finished, you can come in." Esme answered. Carilsle came in with his medical supplies.

"Did you see anything different with the rash?" Carlisle asked, trusting Esme's assessment. He didn't want to have to bare Bella any more than necessary for both Bella and his sake.

"The bleeding has stopped from the welts but it's still as red as before. Would you like me to feed her while you do the other things?"

"Yes, you can do that."

Esme fed Bella through the tube in her nose while Carlisle changed the fluid through her IV, gave her new medications, and drew some blood.

"Her temperature is coming down. It's only 102 Farenheit. At least that's a start." Carlisle said as they were finishing their tasks.

As he said this Alice had a vision. It was the strongest and clearest vision she had had about Bella since they had left forks.

"What did you see Alice?" Esme asked.

"She is going to be okay! She is going to be okay! She is going to have a rough few days but after Friday she is going to start coming around. The rash will disappear and her fever will drop. Physically she is going to be fine. I can't really tell about her mental health right now…but physically she is going to be fine! She is going to get through this!" Alice squealed.

Edward burst through the doors as soon as she was done. His eyes were still dark but not as bad as they had been. He still looked worn but there was a glimmer in his eye. "I saw it too! I came back as soon as you had the vision. This is the hope I needed. She needs to get through this."

A few days had past and Bella was doing a lot better. She was still on a breathing tube and being fed through a tube but today was the day that they were going to wake her up and taking the breathing tube out.

Edward was lying on the bed stroking Bella's hair when his father walked in.

"Her vital signs look good and her throat is no longer swollen. The rash is mostly gone but her wounds are still healing. I think it's time we can wake her up and take the breathing tube out," Carlisle quietly told Edward.

Edward nodded. He was scared, he was unsure how she would be emotionally. At least with her sedated she was free from the emotional and physical pain. He knew this wasn't going to be easy for her…he wishes he could fast forward time and go to a place where everything was perfect in Bella's life.

"I have to wake her up before I take the tube out. I need to make sure she is able to wake up and maintain her own airway. I need you to try to keep her calm. Ok?" Carlisle asked. Edward nodded again.

Carlisle pushed some medication through her IV and then they waited. After about 3 minutes Bella's eyelids fluttered open.

Her heart monitor started to get louder as Bella's heart started to race. Carlisle stepped into her view, "Bella, its Carlisle. Listen to me, I need you to try to stay calm. You have a tube down your throat that was helping you breathe. I am going to take it out but I need you to just stay calm, ok?"

Bella's eyes were unfocused and frenzied. He monitor continued to beep loud and fast. In one split second both her arms shot up towards her face, they had taken off the restraints to not frighten her when she woke. Carlisle was quicker and grabbed her wrists. Carlisle asked Edward, in his mind, to come and keep Bella calm. Edward walked over replacing Carlisle's hands with his, "Bella, love, try to stay calm. I know you are scared and in a lot of pain but I need you to stay calm. Shh," As he started to hum her lullaby. Carlisle prepared the tube to be pulled out, "Bella I need you to take a deep breath on the count of three … One … two …three"

Bella started to cough horrifically and fought against Edwards hands. Carlisle placed an oxygen mask over Bella's face but she kept moving her head side to side trying to avoid it.

"Bella…Look at me," Carlisle said as he gently held her head still. She looked up at him. "I need you to take some nice easy breathes. You had a tube down your throat. If you don't calm down I am going to have to give you some medicine to relax you."

Bella started to calm down slightly but Carlisle still needed to give her some medicine. He didn't give her enough to knock her out, just enough to relax her. Edward had let go of her wrists and now was sitting by her side.

"How are you feeling?" Carlisle had asked but Bella just looked away with tears in her eyes. "Okay, dear. If you are in any pain please let me know. If you are having trouble breathing, please let me know. We are only here to help."

Bella didn't respond even though her whole body felt like it was on fire. She felt like she couldn't catch her breath but she not dare open her mouth. She didn't trust herself to not say the wrong thing. She was ashamed and embarrassed. She didn't want Edward and his family looking at her, helping her. But most of all she didn't want to be alive.

Carlisle understood Bella's silence, at least he thought so. He checked her vitals and found that they were looking better. He changed her fluid bags and gave her some more antibiotics. He had given her 4 types and found that the last one seemed to help. He wasn't sure if it was the antibiotics or coincidence but it couldn't hurt to give her more. He was very careful to only touch her when necessary. She had only flinched a few times but never made a sound or directed her eyes off the wall.

Edward did not attempt to talk to Bella yet. She wouldn't even look at him and he didn't blame her. He had been the reason she was attached to all the machines and tubes. He was ultimately the one to blame for her being here in the first place.

After Carlisle had finished he reminded Bella to let him know if she needed anything or if she felt any pain. As he walked away and was almost to the door she spoke "Carlisle, can you please take this tube out of my nose?"

He turned, she was still facing the wall towards the opposite direction. He walked back towards her. "Only if you eat something first. I need you to be able to eat because if you can't I will have to put the tube back down and I really rather you not go through that again."

"Okay." Even though she wasn't that hungry but she would do about anything to get the tube removed.

Alright, I'll be right back. He left and went to the kitchen to grab some food. When he returned he noticed Bella hadn't moved and Edward would not take his eyes off of her. He went to the opposite side of the bed.

"Are you able to sit up?" He watched painfully as Bella attempted to sit up. Despite his effort of nutrition, her body looked as if she had been through hell and back, twice. He noticed Edward twitching in his chair, wanting so badly to help her. "Do you mind? I just need you to sit up a little and then we can put another pillow behind your head." She nodded ever so slightly but still wouldn't look at him. Carlisle helped her and placed the pillow behind her head. He handed her a cup of water with a straw in it. He didn't even give her the chance to try to grab the cup and placed the straw right next to her lips. She closed her eyes in defeat but placed her lips around the straw and started to suck down the water. The coolness caught her off guard and she started to choke. Edward shot straight up from his chair, fear overtaking his body.

"I'm fine," she said, taking another sip without difficulty, "See?"

'Edward give her a chance, I know this is extremely hard for you.' Carlisle spoke to him through his mind. Edward sat back down in his chair, his hands still shaking.

Carlisle opened the jar of food. "Baby food? Are you serious?" Bella asked.

"Just for a few days. Your body isn't use to normal food. I have been feeding you through that tube. I also don't want you to choke. Its apple, so it's basically just like applesauce."

"Okay but can I please feed myself. I may be eating baby food but I am not helpless."

Carlisle handed her the spoon. She reached up slowly towards the spoon. That's when Edward first noticed the bruises around her wrists, fresh bruises. His eyes were hard set on her wrists and Carlisle saw the anger in his son's eyes.

'It's not your fault. You were trying to keep her safe. She would have caused much more damage to herself. You protected her, it's NOT your fault' Carlisle thought, knowing Edward was blaming himself for holding her wrists while she was fighting when she woke up.

Carlisle moved the jar towards her. Her hands shaking she scooped some applesauce and placed it in her mouth. It felt like ice going down her throat but she didn't let it show. She placed the spoon back into the jar and dropped her hand, exhausted. "See? I am fine, can you take it out now?"

"Okay but I'm warning, if you start having problems I'm going to put it back in place." Carlisle said firmly.

He undid the tape that was holding the tube in place. He held onto the tube and pulled gently. Bella scrunched up her nose and closed her eyes from the discomfort. After the tube was completely out, her nose started to gush blood. At this point Bella was too exhausted to care but it only took a milasecond for the two vampires in the room to figure it out. Edward rushed over to grab a tissue and pinched Bella's nose shut. Bella didn't flinch at Edwards touch but her eyes were closed.

"Bella I need you to sit up more because we don't want you to swallow blood or get it into your lungs." Carlisle said but Bella didn't budge nor open her eyes. "Bella, wake up. Open your eyes." He glanced up at the monitor and all of her vitals seemed to be the same. "Bella, open your eyes," He said as she shook her shoulder gently. She moaned and opened her eyes slightly.

"So..tired…"Bella mumbled.

"She's just sleeping. She is exhausted and with the medicine I have given her, she's going to be very tired," his words directed toward Edward. "Just keep her head elevated, the bleeding is slowing. It will stop shortly. Let her sleep. I am going to go downstairs, if anything changes let me know." With that, Carlisle left Edward alone with a sleeping Bella.

Once the bleeding had stopped he got a warm washcloth and cleaned up Bella's face and neck. He sat in the chair for 11 hours watching his love screaming in her sleep, helpless. He prayed. He did not believe that he had a soul but she still did. And God still had to be watching out for her, right? He really hoped so.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning Carlisle walked in. Edward was still by Bella's side. It looked like he hadn't moved an inch. She was still asleep. Carlisle had to come in the middle of the night to sedate her. Her dreams caused her to scream horrifically and fight off demons that were only real in her mind. Carlisle checked her vital signs. She no longer had a temperature.

Edwards's eyes moved to Carlisle. "No more fever? That's good right?"

"It's a good sign, I can't know for sure if we are completely out of the woods yet. We don't know why she reacted like this. We don't know what sort of infection she had and we don't know what it was caused by." Carlisle paused for a moment. "I am going to have to check and clean her wounds. I don't want her getting any more infections. I don't want to take the catheter out yet because I don't think she is able to get around yet on her own. But she may think differently…"

Just then Bella's eyes opened and she seemed scared and disoriented. Carlisle saw the debate going on inside of Edwards head, whether or not he should step in. "Bella, it's alright. You're safe, you're okay." Carlisle comforted her knowing his son wasn't sure what to do. "Shh, you're safe." Bella became aware of her surroundings and started to relax. "How are you feeling?" he asked. "Fine." She answered.

There was a long awkward silence. "Bella I need you to tell me the truth, it's important for your recovery." "I said I was fine…" she said, struggling to make it sound harsh. She still wouldn't look at Edward. He just wanted her to look at him once, to see if maybe he could get life back into her eyes. But what he didn't know is that she didn't want to look at him because she believed that it would confirm her worst fears. That he hates her and is disgusted by her and is only here from pity and guilt.

"Are you hungry? I brought some oatmeal and water." Carlisle asked. Bella shook her head no. "Bella, dear, I need to check your wounds and change your dressings. The majority of the wounds are on your thighs and private areas, I know this is going to be uncomfortable but I don't want you to get an infection…"

Carlisle saw the fear consuming Bella's face but as fast as it came it vanished. "I don't want him in here, please." Edward stood up and walked out into the hallway. It killed him to leave her but he would respect her wants. He heard Alice walking towards him.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"I don't know. She asked me to leave. She won't even look at me. She has only spoken to Carlisle. I think she blames me. I understand why but I wish she would just talk to me." Edward placed his head on Alice's shoulder. She understood his pain and wrapped her arms around him. She hadn't seen Bella, she was too afraid. She called it cowardness but she couldn't face her just yet.

*****Meanwhile inside Bella's room.

Her eyes directed towards the wall she spoke softly "I'm scared…" her voice shaking.

Carlisle placed his hand on Bella's shoulder. "Dear, I will tell you everything I am going to do before I am going to do it. If you get too upset or if I cause any pain let me know. If you would like I can give you something to relax you or I could sedate you."

"No, I don't want to be sedated. But I guess something to just relax me wouldn't hurt." She replied back to him, still staring at the wall.  
He pushed the medication through one of her many IV's. He only gave her enough to slightly relax her but not enough to knock her out.

"Bella, I'm going to lift up the sheets now. The first thing I am going to do is take the dressings off." He started to take off her many dressings. She jumped slightly at his first touch but then relaxed. She felt him move the tubing to the catheter.

"Can you please take that out too?" she asked wearily.

"Bella I don't think you are strong enough to get around yet and I rather not…." He started to say until Bella interrupted him.

"Please, I'm pitiful enough. I will ask for help if I need it. Please I am begging you…"As she started to cry. A few seconds later her cries turned to sobs.

"Okay I'll take it out but I am going to do that last. I am almost done cleaning the wounds on your legs. I just have to wrap them back up. Okay I am going to move the sheet up further so I can remove that catheter" He also took this chance to look at her wounds on her private areas. The swelling was going down but it was still purple in color. She jumped as he removed the catheter and then he quickly covered her back up.

"All done Bella. Your wounds are healing well and there seems to be no signs of infection." He said softly. He didn't tell her about the welts that had come from nowhere. That part had seemed to be getting better and didn't want to worry her any further. "Bella you need to eat something."

"I just want to be left _**alone**_, I'm really tired. " Carlisle pushed a medication through her IV that would help her sleep without her knowing.

Edward could hear her from the hallway and heard her emphasize on alone. He sank to his knees. He wasn't going to be able to stay away from her much longer. He heard the door open.

"Son, as you already know she is healing nicely. I have given her medication that will keep her asleep for a few hours. You need to hunt…."

"No, I can't leave her" Edward interrupted.

"Edward she is sleeping. She will be fine. Jasper and Carlisle will stay behind and keep an eye on her. You need to hunt, if I have to ill get Emmett to drag you out of here and I'm sure Rosalie wouldn't mind helping. You are better help to her if you are strong and fed. " Alice said.

"Fine. I will go but somewhere close. I need to know if anything happens."

"Of course, son."

A few minutes later Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, and Edward all went hunting. But close enough that they could be here if anything would happen.

She tried to open her eyes. But her head felt so fuzzy. She could feel the pressure in her bladder; she really needed to go to the bathroom. She strained to open her eyes. When she did she was surprised to see that no one was there. Edward had respected her wishes. 'I don't want anyone's help. I can do this myself.' She thought to herself. She slowly sat up. Her world was spinning but she was determined to make it to the bathroom herself. She needed to prove to everyone and herself that she wasn't disabled. She disconnected her IV's; she had been in the hospital enough to know how to do that. Carlisle hadn't hooked her back up to monitor when it came off during the exam. He could hear her heart beating, that's all he probably needed to know, she thought.

She swung her legs over the bed and placed her feet on the floor. She could feel the pressure in her abdomen; she really needed to get to the bathroom. She stood up and took a few steps. Then the room started to spin and she felt nauseated. 'No,no,no!' She was screaming in her head. She knew she wasn't going to make it and it all seemed to happen in slow motion. She felt her stomach turn and the vomit rising in her throat as she felt the warm stream flow between her legs. She then slowly felt herself fall to the ground, she closed her eyes anticipating the impact of the floor but it never came. Instead someone had caught her, even though she was still covered in vomit and urine. She kept her eyes closed; she didn't want to know who had caught her. She was mortified and began to sob.

"Just leave me here, just let me be! Please!" she shrieked between sobs. Her body started to shake from her crying. She felt the urge to relax but she was too mortified and tried to fight it off. She knew Jasper had to be in the room but what she didn't expect was him to be the one who had caught her and was now trying to comfort her. "Bella, shh. It's jasper. It's alright, Carlisle is here too. You're fine, shh…I'm going to lift you and put you back on the bed." She was too weak to resist.

Once back on the bed she began to hyperventilate, despite Jasper's attempt to calm her. "I don't want anyone to see me like this. I don't want your pity; I know I'm disgusting to you all. I know you think I'm dirty…why won't you just let me be!"

"Bella, we don't think that! We love you! All of us do, we only want to help you because you need our help. That's what family is for." Jasper told her.

Carlisle started to hook up her IV's and drew up some more medications as Bella continued to hyperventilate and sob uncontrollably. Just then Edward came flying through the door. "Son, she's fine she just tried to get out of bed herself but we got here in time before anything…"

"Get out please! Get out! Get out! You can't see me like this, I'm already disgusting! You don't need to see my any dirtier! Edward please! Leave!" Bella screamed.

Edward was backing up towards the door but before he walked out he said "I don't think you are disgusting and I never will think that. You are beautiful and the love of my life…I will love you forever no matter what."

Bella had realized that Carlisle was about the push a medication into her IV, "Carlisle, no please. I don't want to sleep anymore. Please!" At this point she was screaming and using her little bit of strength to try to rip her IV's out. "I just want to go home! Please I'm….." She slowly drifted off to sleep.

A few hours later Bella woke up once again. The first thing she noticed was that she had a catheter in place once again. The second thing she noticed was that Edward was sitting in a chair at the far end of the room in the dark. She had also noticed that she was in different clothing, she didn't have vomit all over her and she was hooked back up to the heart monitor again.

She just sat there staring at Edward. Not sure what to do or say. Just then Alice walked through the door. "Bella, do you mind if I come in?" Bella shook her head.

"I'm sorry I didn't come in earlier. I just didn't know what to say….I'm sorry for everything but I am so happy you are okay."

"Alice it's not your fault." Bella touched the fabric of her shirt wondering who had cleaned her up. She hated being this vulnerable having her family see her this way.

"Esme and I cleaned you up." Alice said, seeing the question in her eyes, "We have been since….well we have done it this whole time. Carlisle said that you can get a bath if you want….with my assistance though. He said it may hurt a little because of your wounds but it's up to you…"

"I would like that." "Okay, well I'm going to go get the bath water ready. Do you mind if Edward brings you in while I get things set up?"

Bella hesitated, "It's fine. Can the catheter come out?"

"No, Carlisle said he doesn't want a repeat of last time and says it's better for you if you are not tempted to get out of bed by yourself. You can take a bath with it. Just take it easy, we are here to help. We are going to get through this together. Alright then, it will only be a few minutes."

Alice disappeared into the bathroom and Bella could hear the water running. Then she saw Edward stand up and walk towards her bed. He approached her very slowly. She looked at him for the first time since she had woken up from being in an induced coma for a week. His eyes were black, he had dark circles under his eyes, and he looked tired. She wasn't sure if vampires could get tired, but if they could this is what it would look like. He looked like death.

"Are you sure you are okay with this?" Edward asked, even though he knew this was a test for Bella, thanks to Alice.

She looked away from him but shook her head yes. He reached for her arm with the IV in it. She flinched and he backed away. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean hurt or startle you. We just have to wrap up the IV so it doesn't get wet." She then reached out her arm towards him. He wrapped it up and noticed that her heart monitor started to beat faster and when he looked up at her face; her cheeks were a bright red. He disconnected the heart monitor and said, "Are you ready? If I hurt you, please tell me." She nodded. He slid his arms under her and gently lifted her off the bed. She wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head on his chest. She had forgotten how good this felt. But she was still not completely convinced that he could ever want or love her again. She was trash.

He walked ever so gently to the bathroom and sat her on the toilet. He leaned down and whispered in her ear, "I love you." Then he walked out to the bedroom and sat in his usual seat, waiting.

"Ok let's first get you out of these clothes. I'll help you but if I cause you too much pain let me know. I have some pain medicine that Carlisle gave me to give you if needed." She pointed to the bathroom counter where there lay 5 bottles of pills and 2 vials and 2 syringes. "The bottles are medicines he wants you to take after words. He said some of it may make you a little drowsy so he wants you to wait until after the bath."

Alice took off Bella's clothes and lifted her into the bathtub. As soon as Bella's wounds hit the water she cried out in pain. Alice lifted her out of the water as quick as her vampire hands would allow her. "No, no! Put me back in. I want to get a bath, the pain isn't that bad." Bella demanded. "Are you sure?" Alice rebutted. Bella nodded. This time when Alice lowered her into the tub she kept silent. Alice could hear Edward pacing back and forth outside. He didn't like to hear Bella in pain no matter what the situation.

'Why don't you change Bella's sheets and get everything freshened up for her? Maybe you could go get her something to eat to.' Alice thought, so Edward could hear.

Alice helped Bella wash her body and her hair. It felt nice for Bella to be clean. When they were done Alice lifted Bella out of the tub and sat her on the toilet. She wrapped a towel around Bella and began to dry her off. Bella asked, "Can I have a little privacy for a human moment please?"

Alice nodded and said, "Of course, I'm going to run downstairs and get some food for you" Knowing Edward didn't do so, "Here are the pills Carlisle wants you to take" as she placed them in Bella's hand and sat a glass of water on the counter next to her. "I'll be back in a few minutes to help you get dressed."

As soon as Alice had left Bella stood up and stared at herself in the mirror. She looked at the pills in her hand and then inspected each medicine bottle carefully. Everything was blank except for the name Dr. Carlisle Cullen and the name of the medication.

Carefully she opened each bottle and dumped its contents into her hands. Then putting them in her mouth and drinking some water. She did this with all 5 bottles until there were no pills left. Then she picked up the syringe and thought to herself 'I didn't even realized I wanted to kill myself but I guess it would make it easier for everyone if I was dead.' Bella stabbed the syringe into wrist and slid the needle all the way up to her elbow. She didn't feel any pain. The only thing she felt was the warm feeling oozing from her arm. Then the door swung open and startled her. She dropped her towel and looked down to try to catch it when she saw sight of the blood. Her world began to swirl. Edward raced into the room catching her naked body and grabbed her wrist, trying to control the bleeding. Before she passed out the last thing she heard was Edward asking "Why?" Even if she could have responded, she didn't have an answer for him. Then everything went black.


End file.
